M(other). F($%#$R). Hussain - A Line Crossed!

Now one might wonder why a guy like me, who often indulges in crafting expletive words, is showering such profanities upon a guy who has outlived his age and dotage? While I may sound a bit explicit, I did feel some time ago like a member of flat earth society indulging in calling the dwellers of this geoid: fools, for not understanding the flatness of this planet and conjuring up cock and bull theories about earth being round. Haha! Round are thy empty cranial spaces.

For a moment, I felt frustrated that I could not do anything to contribute in the crusade against a man, who at an expiring age indulged in F.art. I felt like foot-in-the-mouth-Shashi Tharoor for sometime; helpless. And I was about to indulge in fervent tweeting campaign against Mr. M.F.Hussain. Like that really could have changed the way urban India thought about their own culture. Hey, I am no different when it comes to being culturally enlightened. But comparing Kamasutra with nudes of gods and goddesses is foolish beyond diplomacy. Sage Vatsayana would die laughing with this mis-interpretation. Its like relating Islam with terrorism. Now you get it, don't you?

He chickened out of court cases filed against him all across India. Then I thought the guy should die in peace now. Its high time. My prejudices had erupted abruptly, but wait, there was a reason it seemed: the guy is no doubt a master in drawing stuff. I hated my drawing teacher after I failed in elementary drawing exams thrice. No once, but, thrice. That was the limit. Literally.

Keeping my personal bias aside momentarily - I was relieved that this doddering oaf (Hussain M.F) had accepted Qatar's honorary citizen ship and I trusted he would be instrumental in lowering, a tiny little, that country's GDP per capita. Or, would he?

But even at this age, assimilating into a new culture would be extremely painstaking job and here is my guide (reference from here) for Mr. M.F.Hussain - All will be (oil) well:

1. The Bedouin nomads: While you might forget that M.F.Hussain still roams like he is a nomad from the days of yore and his age confirming the same - The quatari government didnot. They saw a glimpse of their ancestors in this gem of the art world...The rags to riches story. Instant connection.

See the stick weilding, well prepared M.F...Too bad the pic does not show his shoeless feet. It's garnishing on the main dish.

2. Camels: God's gift to the Bedouin - Camel's and M.F Hussain go a long way, right from his ...what would an artist do, without his crayons? Instant connection there again. Uber cool!

3. Beneath the Abaya : What fashion-conscious Qatari women wear under their abaya - Now imagination for painter is like schoolbag for children. Even if they don't understand it (its termed abstract then), they are always overburdened with it. There was a reason M.F was known to the glam world, when in his 80s (age; i am talking his age here), Madhuri Fida Hussein. Even at his age, he is pretty imaginative when it comes to fantasizing what lies beneath...a bur-qua / Abaya.

Most other things that M.F is expected to do, whilst embracing his new home country, he will; with poise, eerie panache and to the best of his abilities, knowledge and (dot)age. Until then, so Long, M.F. Die in Qatar. Your epitaph may incorporate, "My name was M.F.Hussain - Could draw almost anything".

One of the foundations of a secular nation (not pseudo - secular) is its citizens live with respect for one another and not hurt each other's cultural and religious beliefs. M.F should have known better and acted accordingly.

Note: This post is ironic while M.F Hussain is a fugitive Indian Artist, who is evading arrest and has accpeted Qatar's honorary citizenship status - just so that he does not die stateless. He is lesser known for his controversial depictions, allegedly art, of Hindu Gods and Goddesses. He is also the subject matter of this blog post and has been conferred by not just Qatar's citizenship, but also with many adjectives that you might enjoy unearthing. No brownie points for finding them though. If you do find this post interesting, you might also find it interesting to watch 'My Name is Khan' on a pirated D.V.D and marvel upon the words, "Can fix almost anything". Fix me a drink please, Jeeves!