An Open Letter to an Open Letter!

Dear Open Letter, 

Lately, Indians, wait, E-ndians (this joke comes from @rameshshivats E-gypt joke), have been using you a lot and to some very good use because of the atrocities they had to undergo like Arundhati Roy, Digvijay singh and Ra.one. But, then God thought this wasn't funny/sarcastic enough and wanted us to crack some lawyer jokes and lo and behold...Kapil Sibbal come out and talks stuff. Pure, un-adulterated, grade A, BULLSHIT.. Screen this, in the land, where LCDs and LEDs are sold at Rs. 1000.00 per square inch and houses at Rs. 5000.00 per square feet.

So, beware. For, open letter, your days are numbered and you might be screened. You would apparently be opened before being open and then if they (ever watchful government - who have minutely watched inflation go up, growth rate go down, corruption increase manifold and many such other mundane travesties that a comman man man faces on a daily basis) thought you were obscene, like a Rahul Gandhi's idea for quota to Muslims prior to elections in U.P; and should be banned forever. 

Ok, how many lawyer's does it take to draft an open letter? 

Zero. Because, lawyers do not do anything unless paid!

Dear Open Letter, let me tell you why the need to be snooping on to google, face book, twitter and blogs as Mr. Kapil Sibal sees it. I sympathise with the guy. 

When an allegedly corrupt & non-performing government, led by a man, who practically has no say whatsoever in matters important to the nation, has no control over his cabinet; re-shuffles it three times a year thinking democracy is permutation-combination for the people, by the people, to the people, knows that the only way people can vent out their frustration and exercise their constitutional right of freedom of expression by means of Internet, social-networking, satirical poems, hasya kavita, twitter, blogs and open letters, government understands the urgent need to screen such stuff and ban and delete it. I think this is fair on part of government to think and almost officially speak via its EX-HUMAN RESOURCE MINISTER & current minister of communications and IT - Mr. Kapil Sibal. Mr. Sibal has also changed his ministries more times than the word "change" appearing in Mr. Barrack Obama's speeches. This trait further makes him a strong contender for post of PM.

I think our PM has no panache. He does not even change his safari suits three times a day (Like Mr. Shivraj Patil)...How un-fashionable is that. Mr. Sibal should be made the Prime Minister. He has got in him. He wears pink shirts inside his suits. Plus, his eye-brows say it all. He means business. Serious stuff. Our PM rarely wears suits (non-Nehruvian suits - as if he is commanded to wear it). Our PM does not even have eye-brows. Not Serious.

Open Letter, I do not like people calling Kapil Sibal an idiot. He remotely seems like a person of subnormal intelligence. But then again, he is a lawyer. That too, in the supreme court. People get slapped there, you know. Also, bombs are exploded outside such institutions. All because of social media, me thinks. One random guy makes hate speech against government and another random one blows up a building. Solid wi-fi social media connection there. 


I think Government should also ban Lalbaug cha Raja Ganesh Utsav in Mumbai. After all, if so many people throng there in an attempt for divine intervention to solve their problems, solving problems becomes a problem (for any agency including the divine one). So the best way to solve the problem is by banning the Mahostav. That way, people will not come there to get their problems solved and there would not be any problems. See. There is not an iota of idiocy over here in this argument. Even a Notary could have deduced this. hahahah. Those who understand irony will know that this is remotely idiotic :

So open letter, I suggest you hide someplace. maybe like in a real letter and reach Mr. Kapil Sibal somehow. Stamps would probably help you. No, not the rubber ones that a lawyer uses, they will scarcely help. TCP/IPs are risky right now to travel through. may be floo powder. Reach the Ministry of Magic, HRD ministry, Shastri Bhavan, Dr. Rajendra Prasad Road, India. Tell him how proudly Indians like me support him and are all ears for the intelligent talking that he does on T.V. The pink shirt rocks too dude...

Disclaimer: This post has been published according to the standards that are adhered in the west...including the sanitary ones. This post is Kalmadi and Raja proofed twice ji.