Disclaimer: In the post below, you will read a lot about "him and he" about a child because I have a 5 year old son (about turning 6) and no way I am trying to be gender discriminating. If you have a girl child read it as a her. Please don't think I am against girl child or something of that sorts.
The one best thing me and my wife did in April 2017 was a course of ISP SSY - Infant Siddha Programme. The programme was an eye opener for us. From the perspective of parenting. From the perspective of self realisation - about being a parent.
The programme gave us vision. To look at our children's problem's from their perspectives. Not from our view points. To look at the world through their eyes and feel it through their hearts.
How many times do we think that our child should do XYZ because I feel so, or because our wife feels so. How many times have we stopped our child in their tracks from smallest of the small things - like jumping from stairs, asking us too many questions, because (s)he will go through our things, because (s)he will try to wear out shoes, try to fit in to our shirts etc. etc? The programme gave us a sense of it all. Answers to questions from child's perspectives.
Thats the most important thing today;
The world is extremely debaucherous today, sick even - The news that we hear about 10/12 years old not only shock us, but, scare us to send out our kids there in the world fearing for what will happen to them and what may become of them. What we only, thus expect of our children is, that there be such an open communication between parents and children that when they come home, they feel so comfortable and so cared for, that without slightest hesitation, they can share even their most intimate secrets - so even if they land in some trouble, we can always protect them and help them in whatever ways possible.
What I found during my course of study was gold - in way of Einstein's 30 most inspiring quotes. But, I want to share these 30 quotes from the perspective of parenting and wish to share with you guys. And how these 30 quotes can help you achieve better parenting techniques - all from perspective of your child. So while reading the quotes, read them from the perspective of your children.
1) Few are those who see with their own eyes and feel with their own hearts.
Consider this quote from your child's perspective. Make an environment for your children so that your child learns to be more curious and be more empathetic. Eg, whenever, I am watching a cute video of Dog or cat rescue of a video of an act of kindness, I will make it a point to see it with my son or share it with my son and me and my wife tell him how there are less fortunate souls in the world, and we should always be eager to help them. Then he is quick to ask 5/6 different questions about things that start racing in his mind. Why is the dog hungry, where is his mom, why did his mom leave him etc, etc, try and be more sympathetic to the situation and explain and every answer to him in as delicate way as possible. This will help evolve your child into one who sees the world with their own eyes and feel with their own hearts
2) Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world.
One of the most important quotes by Einstein for our generation and generations to come and it will be a folly if we do not pass it down to them. Creating an environment such that child's imagination develops is the most important thing. E.G When me and my son used to play catch catch with a ball, I used to try to explain him gravity, when the ball falls down, its because of gravity, after a few times, he told me one time, Baba, ball falls down because of gravity. When we play with paper planes, I give the wings behind upward and downward bend and explain him about how lift and drag works. Now doing this by practical and seeing it for himself, my 5 year old boy knows what gravity is, what lift and drag is, what friction is so on and so forth. One time he saw vapours in the freezer and he ran to me asking about the smoke. I tried explaining him about thermodynamics. How Water turns to ice, how ice turns to vapour, how when we heat water it boils, then turns to steam etc. etc. We should always ensure one or the other way that their curiosity is always nurtured, it is never killed. This way, he will want to imagine more and more things when he sees the world around him. School Education is draconian and boring and limited in its capacity. When you keep teaching your child school stuff in practical surroundings, he will be awe inspired to learn more and more and be amazed more and more and more and more. Give him such an environment.
3) Try not to become a man of success, but rather try to become a man of value.
3) Try not to become a man of success, but rather try to become a man of value.
The one bullshit story that 500 Crores plus Bollywood movie, The 3 Idiots, sold was was to aim for success and not to run behind marks or education. Well, I don't expect anything more from Bollywood anyways. I always suggest to keep fundamentals clear. Whether they be about science, arts, maths, history or any god damn subject on the planet. Einstein even went on to say, "I want to know the thought of God, rest are all opinions". Give such values to your children and expect they will never go wrong in their life. Imbibe strong moral compasses in them - man has them inherent. When your fundamentals are clear and you live by values and code, success and everything follows automatically. So fuck Amir Khan and Fuck 3 idiots. He is feeling unsafe in the country anyways. E.g: values we have instilled in our son - He hates cheating, in games - I deliberately try to then and he will get mad at me. Another one is, we have made sure that he understands in anything that he participates, he is doing it for his own pleasure and fun and learning. Competitiveness has to be there, but not at the expense of heartache. There is much more of learning in failure than there is in coming 1st all the time. Believing some things are beyond our control and universe plays its own games.
4) Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds.
Let me go a little off topic here and also quote Steve Jobs here for you as well, "Here’s to the crazy ones, the misfits, the rebels, the troublemakers, the round pegs in the square holes… the ones who see things differently — they’re not fond of rules… You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them, but the only thing you can’t do is ignore them because they change things… they push the human race forward, and while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius, because the ones who are crazy enough to think that they can change the world, are the ones who do." That's exactly what the extension of this Einstein quote is. IMHO. Newton, Galileo, Da Vinci, Tesla, Wright Brothers, you name it and they were called stupid, heretics even - but then the world recognised. Children are full of crazy imaginations and crazy ides, just because we do not understand them does not mean we need to sensitise them. Let them be. Nurture those ideas. Give them a creative vent for those ideas. Whatever they be and you will find they doing amazing things and achieving great things. Whenever, I put him to sleep, me and my son have a routine, sometimes, I tell him a story and then I ask him to tell me a story, whatever comes to his mind, I let his imagination run wild, I just keep asking him detailing questions. so he knows to delve deep in to the story from as early as possible and discuss minute details as possible. Find your own such little exercises. You will be amazed with what children can come up with at such tender age. And never ever be judgemental. The moment we start being judgemental with our kids, they will stop sharing with us things one thing at a time and distance is created. There is already enough judging happening in his life - Teachers, peers, score cards and what not. Home should be a place where a child should have a safe haven.
5) Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.
By far, the most important quote of our century. or even history has ever witnessed. Over a period of time, our education system, especially the one post independent era, has produced only work force - labour in percentages of 70% / 25% and 5%. 70% are average neglected kids who are the fishes of the system judged by their ability to climb the tree - they are meant to be 9 to 5 punch carders all their life - created by the system, of the system, for the system - a white color/blue color labour which is needed by the government. Thats how a child's life is ruined even if he is a genius. 25% kids are above average who get good schools, good grades and tend to live their lives by their terms and tend to achieve what they want. Their talents too are may be picked up early on and they are lucky enough to pursue those later in life. 5% are those really lucky ones who get the environment that each child deserves and go on to achieve what they really want. If you want to put your child in that 5% category or 25% category, creating an environment for them and giving them free run for nurturing their talents is of utmost importance. It means going out of the way, every single step.
6) Look deep into nature, and then you will understand everything better.
All most all of man's inventions in one or the other way have been inspired by looking at nature; flaura and fauna. We have 33 crore Gods. We worship the 5 "Pnacha Mahabhoot: Earth, Wing, Water, Fire, Ether". Our Science dates back to more than 5000 years. When world was struggling with sex education, we already had an encyclopaedia in the form of "KamaSutra". When world was struggling with modern medicine, we already had "Ayurveda". We need to take pride in our roots and culture and give our children the values and same ethos that have been trickling down from centuries in our lands. As a land of Seekers, not as a land of believers (that's SadhGuru's quote). The more our children draw inspiration of real life from nature, the more they can never go wrong. Even in production engineering, when they advise to research need analysis, the emphasis is made on making lives better and looking at socio-cultural and socio-economic parameters. Nature and Culture plays extremely important roles.
7) All religions, arts and sciences are branches of the same tree.
A very complex quote and topic to touch and may need a full blogpost separately for this quote only. Instead of giving him values of religion - giving him values of higher power, is more important. In the vastness of universes, we are part of one, of that of one milky way, of that of one solar system, of that of one planet, of that of one continent, of that, of one country, of that, of one state, etc...etc.....When we think about ourselves like this, we understand how little we know about ourselves and world and universe and this life. In all of this, we only use 12 to 14% of our brain. Teaching our child early on these things - giving him information about such things - arts, sciences and higher power imbibes gratitude and humility in a child from early on. For they understand from early age we are not even of the level of atom in this universe.
Till the age of 6/7 Mother and father need to be child's best friend. After that, discipline them. After being a 14/15 - Again best friends. Listening to them and accepting their perspective is the most important aspect.
Rest we all do mistakes and learn from it. Evolve from them. Such is the nature of life. Our kids can be our best teachers and we can be our kids' best students at times.
Happy life!
Rest we all do mistakes and learn from it. Evolve from them. Such is the nature of life. Our kids can be our best teachers and we can be our kids' best students at times.
Happy life!
