I hate love stories too. So, I wanna see dead people too PART II

Before I start off with the travails of our unnamed protagonist ghost of Part I, I will blow sunshine up my own ass. It's required to advertise the blog. Recently I received a comment on my blog post as:

[QUOTE]

Hi, nice blog. I want to share my views which may help many others.Not long ago I believed I had the Premature.........................Rest part of the content cut.


[UNQUOTE]


Its always considered a mark of success when you get spammed. Unless, you start getting thousands such comments and then the government monitors your web history, or, your mail id gets hacked and suddenly people start calling you as to why the fuck are you stuck in Greece in a hotel with no money - but worry not as I just won a lottery of £50000000000.00 and I will send you the required £5000? Till such things occur, spamming may be fun and a status symbol in some ways. It can be equated with uber rich junta of India are not considered big fishes unless they are raided by the income tax people.

So there you go Indian Citizen Ranting is growing manifold and one of my earlier posts (I had deleted the same for some reasons some time ago) have also inspired, unofficially of course, a scene of the upcoming movie Khichadi (see from time 1.00). Enough about that though.

Back to the story: There mourns our protagonist un-named hero ghost seeking solace in the arms of his beloved. While his parents had always taught him Gandhian principles of non-violence and 'change', the world he understood, today, as it is, only respected Gandhi-ji on the principle (amount). He feels betrayed and cheated. And he is in double mind - to lose interest in the principle, that too, as a Gujarati Ghost? Or, to realign the same according to the current market practices. Err.

While the angry young confused American born Desi ghost chooses the latter...let me take you in flashback to his naming ceremony. His Gujarati father Ghost - MoolchandBhai ManikchandBhai Patel, being a difficult name for the foreigners to pronounce rechristens himself as Flint Sky, Indians (Red / Brown does not matter) do get special treatment in America (pun intended).

Flint sky is a proud business man dealing in ghosts' consultancy, 'Tan-Tricks LLc',  located in Jersey city - first they send ghosts to haunt and thereafter send busters to vacate properties of ghosts. Double Profits. And even prouder father since a baby ghost boy has blessed their family with it's arrival. The baby boy is 4 to 5 shades darker than average Indian born ghosts and later turns out to be a southpaw (left handed). Thus the boy is named Ghanshyambhai MoolchandBhai Patel A.K.A Jaguar Paw. Here after refereed to in this story as 'Jaguar Paw'.

While I could have had South Indian (particularly Malayali) ghosts as subject matter of this story, there are two problems:

a) The moment you think anything malayali in a story, the neighbors, friends, enemies, work place and the boss all have to be malayali.  Cause a Malayalam life revolves around nothing but Malayalam. Its like earth revolving and rotating around itself, like a Kerala store. Not good catering to global audience.

b) The story has to be based out of a Middle Eastern country and should end with ghost returning back, to God's own Country(!) and settle down with a huge bungalow and even bigger rubber plantation farm. Not good for producers and/or sales.

After the initiation in to the ghost-hood, Flint Sky asks his son to join the family business. Like all stories, business is in problem. To give him a practical idea of the problem, Flint sky takes Jaguar Paw to walmart, after a thorough recee of the premise, here is what transpires between the two:

Flint Sky: Those people in the mall, what did you see in them?

Jaguar Paw: I do not understand.

Flint Sky: Food. Deep fired food. They were infected by it. Did you see? Fried food is a sickness. It will crawl into the soul of anyone who engages it. It has tainted your peace already.

Jaguar Paw: Pun Pappa, Anu relevannce su che?

Flint Sky: Nothing, if our business runs in to any more trouble, open a franchise of Sub-way or Dunkin donuts.

The principles of change, pioneered by Ghandhiji, are taken up literally by the current residing president of the united states of America. Since there are no jobs around, kids take up camcorders and show up on AXN with how to fight and defeat Ghosts, all real time. This eats into the ghost busting profits of Tan-Tricks LLc.

The young jaguar paw is all pepped up now. He wants to put renewed energy in to the business and make it a flying success. But a Gujarati boy who has not spent a minimum 10 years behind a cash counter in a shop is as undiplomatic as Arundhati Roy. He is God of small Change. Err.

Jaguar Paw keeps pondering upon the problem and voila. His inference is that the solution to the problem lies within the problem itself. Like if you want to make money online you must make other people make money online. What if the ghost busters on AXN do not understand the language of the ghosts? A multiple profit making chance in reverse outsourcing. He decides to test his theory himself and goes on to haunt a Manhattan town house. Incidentally, the realitiy t.v ghost busters come knocking on the door and here is what follows:

Ghostbusters: Where are you? Who are you? Talk to us? Why do you haunt such a beautiful house? Show your self

Jaguar Paw:  Umm...Ok.



After seeing this ghastly form of sorcery, the busters run away and triumphantly, Jaguar paw yells:

Jaguar Paw: I am Jaguar Paw, son of Flint Sky. My Father haunted this urban jungle before me. My name is Jaguar Paw. I am a haunter. This is my urban jungle. And my sons will haunt it with their sons after I am gone.

While the irony behind such tall claims clearly escape his immigrant mind, he rejoices and attempts to happily live, and haunt, ever after. Did I mention that Jaugar Paw also helps foreigner ghosts migrate to India with help of his extended family in Anand (pun intended).

In the background his proud father, flint sky looks upon in awe at this young age management genie(us). Bapu Jeevan safal thai gayu. Akho Dhanda cash ma che ave.


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Diss-Claimer: I claim all the disses above in the post.