American financial Quarter ending, Indian Year ending, month ending, Maharashtraian New year…An add linking all this on the lines of those awkward adds, ‘Is it that time of the month?’ should be created to take some stress away from people; Issued in public interest.
In our land, the cultural one, we have evolved from respecting and worshiping the beauty and admiring it – the Khajuraho temple types to sheepishly scurrying into the kitchen when such adds or allegedly ‘inappropriate’ scene, so aesthetically conveyed in ‘Jhumma Chumma Dey Dey’, (This song always reminded me of Shobha Dey, I don’t know why? Probably because of the – allegedly-pompous-intellectually-stimulating-empty-cranium-rattling vocabulary used) appears on screen.
This is a direct result of Harrapa and Mohenjodaro people starting the cultural identity protection drive, later to be known as The Moral Police. You must have started to wonder what co-relation this rambling has got to do with the title of this post – April fool. Well, that’s how April Fools day evolved. A day to commemorate the people behind the protection drive was initiated in the community on first day in the month of Ram & Bull (Aries & Taurus logo). Their posters were put up across all the streets. Organizer’s smaller mug shot versions occupied minimum 25% of the posters.
Homo sapiens’s evolution has come a long way and so have fools and their felicitation, on this day. A lot of countries have their financial year endings on March 31st and rightly so. Once the tax is deducted, what becomes of a Hard working middle class man is a below poverty line fool, almost. Our govt. also gifts us a small card to celebrate our foolishness – PAN card. Incidentally Thesaurus describes Genus Pan as Chimpanzees. In neo-political-power-broking-Swiss bank-account-holder’s dictionary, it simply means that PAN card holders are Darwinian primates, and our govt. makes it mandatory to be one.
No wonder, thus, that such a great jubilation of our personal diminished resources is carried out in the month of Ape-reel-under-financial-bondage. The very basis of having a fool’s day in month of April – a month sharing two zodiac signs: Aries and Taurus (symbolized by Sheep and Bull) is a discriminating act in itself. Both of them are herbivores and clearly are ranked low in the food chain. I would have further added that they are also considered low intelligence animals, but, I am afraid the Arieans and Taureans might stampede me to my death. Hence, I refrain from doing that.
We get whole day to rejoice in our absurd stupidities and mock and prod each other…speaking of stupidities, the bug caught me unawares in the closing days of March itself, I found my self stranded, with a broke down car and not enough cash near the first toll plaza on Mumbai-Pune Expressway. The emotional swings in such situations fluctuate from exclamation to anger to hating the car to laughing on my own idiocy. It felt like being a pregnant lady. And I had already eaten up all the ‘Achaar’ and ‘parathas’ mom had given me for the intended journey. Damn.
But heck, that was the time I truly admired architectural marvel that a toll plaza is during the sunset time. Cars were slowly moving; randomly opening and closing toll gates; traffic police scouting around for easy money from heavy vehicles. The watchman gave me a car repairer’s number and he received 50 bucks from that Car repairer, which car repairer charged me. So yes, I now thoroughly understand the shady economics of toll plazas; all tax Free. Now you know why I felt like an idiot.
Reverting back to the topic, the government’s subtle ways of letting us know that they are April fooling us is so evident from two things, first take all 33% cash that ‘Aam Admi’ has and then celebrate their tiresome efforts the next month on May 1st and call it an international Labor Day. Pure evil these rulers are, I say. No poke on Facebook is so malevolent than mocking and secretively letting them know that they have been mocked.
Now that you know what all constitutes this one single day, I think I am going to let the politicians who come to campaign at our place know that I know, subtly or otherwise.
Politician – “Sir, Please vote for us”
Me: “Indeed I will, I know I am a fool”
Politician: “That’s nonsense, don’t underestimate yourself, you are a part of the system.”
Me: “Err, Sir What about Govinda, Abhi-Neta.”
Politician: “He epitomizes our system and voter mentality.”
Me: “Wicked, Sir.”
Politician: “Thank you.”
My dearest friends, family, readers of this blog and to all the people of free India, Happy April Fool’s Day; lets all raise a toast and shove it down the campaigning politician’s throat, as anyways our butter has been taxed. Might as well lose the toast; burnt one at that.
***Do Vote in upcoming elections.***
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