2009: An Year to introspect PART II

The Day started with me working in Thivim Industrial estate and evening, I was free to set about on my endevour to 'finding' myself business. I was staying in Mapusa and the best way to go about business was to hire a 150 CC gearless bike as walking around wasn't pretty much fun anyway. That day I decided to explore Calangute beach. 

Inner beast or the asshole is just an itch, a frustration when you can not meaningfully dump the excreta out. Sea and LSD, so I have heard, personifies your inner self to bring out the extreme you, the good, the bad or the ugly. 

I rule out the drugs here though. Drugs can never tell you who you are, but if you do enough of them, they can definitely tell you who the person in front of you is...drug induced consiousness is like a bald headed guy feeling and acknowledging the breeze through his alleged hair. The breeze is always there. All you need in that grey matter, inside or above your head. And don't try to buy that in the grey market or the flea market. 

Goa Gill's famous quote was: "Dance meditation is a way to lift up people's consiousness so that at a certain stage they can feel one with the cosmic spirits...union." Sadly, in my case, I kept on becoming consious of myself rather than lifting my consiousness. 

Diverting from the topic for a while, 

I felt jealous to be honest, the marriage season was in the air and I could see the honey mooners - beach displays of affection in abundance. It bogged me in my search. A sad state to be in, when chauvinism and libido are in direct proportion. Testosterone load shedding was urgently required. Crashing waves clashed with the ego and heart. A win some lose some situation. So I turned to the King of good times and what was turning out to be one of my favorite hangouts: a karaoke bar. 

Reverting back to the topic: Earth, Water, Fire, Air and Space...of them all, Sea is the most confusing and endearing maha bhoot (force of fury). Mind relays from one state to another in its presence. Too much of thoughts, mixed emotions. Just like the countless number of shacks bellowing different music, catering to their clients; churning out what they wanted. What was common was the white noise that sea insituated. 

The karaoke bar was churning out music from the 60s and the 70s..thanks to the people selecting it and singing it as well, with an undescribable vivaciousness. 

Peace, Love, Harmony/Unity and Respect. Actions, emotions, thoughts? Nope. A continuous process known as : being. Call it understaning the hard way or the easy way. It was not the interactions or pro active conversations, but, just by being a silent observer.  Next time, if you think of searching for yourself at someplace or searching for someplace in yourself, use my suggestion, just BE there. I don't say I am a bit wiser after my return from Goa, but I crave for more now - a dynamic entity termed as "change" or "alteration" :)